The Lafayette Soap Snatcher

Lexington, KY. The Times recreation of the suspected soap bandit.

If you have used the bathroom recently at Lafayette and you’ve gone to wash your hands like a responsible person, you may have noticed the lack of soap. Commonly most of Lafayette’s bathrooms hold one to two soap dispensers, often being somewhat old, hanging loosely on the wall. It seems a soap bandit has been taking advantage of this school provided sanitizer, ripping the entire dispenser off the wall. This soap hijacker shows no mercy or decency to their fellow classmates.

This five-fingered soap snatcher may have gotten their inspiration after a viral TikTok showed a random student ripping the dispenser off the wall. This trend quickly gained traction in schools around the country, leaving many to question the intelligence of American children, and the impact that the internet holds.

“I haven’t been affected yet, but one day I’ll go into the bathroom and there just won’t be soap… What happens then?” exclaims Senior, Natasha Schalk.

When asked how he was affected by the soapy marauder, Senior Colin Farmer stated, “Well it’s really hard when you don’t realize before you go to the bathroom, and then it’s too late; what do I do now?”

The soapy larcenist has even caught the attention of Principal Jacobs.“We’re trying to identify who the perpetrators are and understand that any student who vandalizes or steals school property is subject to consequences and could face restitution.” Mr. Jacobs also estimates that one dispenser cost around $100 to replace, quite a hefty fine for a few laughs.

Jacobs goes on to say, “[Stealing] is not only a violation of school rules, but it’s illegal so students who do these things can be subject to criminal violations as well.”

With so many of these dispensers stolen, many are left to question what one does with a commercial soap supplier after stealing it? Is it hung on the wall like a prized possession? Placed in the bathroom as a touch of modern decor? Or sold on the black soap market? As of now the Times are not sure.

If you or a loved one know the perpetrators, or if you ARE the thief, it’s best to return the stolen property to the school, cleanse your hands of the crimes committed, though preferably with soap you actually purchased.

“No devious licks, you can quote me on that,” proclaims Principal Jacobs.